Archive for Bobby Jindal

When the Saints come AutoTuned with Turtles and Scott Brown

Posted in celebrities, humor, politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2010 by Sunshine Superboy

Who Dat?!

So its been a few weeks since the Saints kicked some Super-Ass in some Rugby-related sport that North Americans insist on calling “football”. I celebrated in Oakland, marking the first time in my adult life that I’ve been to a superbowl party. I was in good company. Also, I got there very late and only saw the (triumphant) last ten minutes of the game. Which is all just as well.

For the five years or so, I’ve had a bet going among my best friend and his partner (who live in Raleigh, North Carolina), to see who could go the longest without finding out who won the Superbowl (each year). I think about 3/5 of the time I ended up NEVER finding out, and often not even knowing who was sparring. The Philadelphia Eagles was one exception, where my city was aglow a few years back… and then deflated. And just now with the Saints… I lost the bet immediately this time around, but it was all worth it! Especially, now that I can appreciate the Superbowl humor in the latest AutoTune the News (a new obsession of mine).

Somehow I missed the congressional debate about turtle fences, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING gets past the geniuses of Autotune the News. The simple prospect of using cheesy Cher disco technology to make newscasters sing the actual words they’ve broadcast is hilarity in a basket. Add to the the sassy backup vocals of the AutoTune the News Crew (a cute guy, his gorgeous wife, and his somewhat less-cute brothers, all Swarthmore College alumni), and we’ve got instant classics on our hands.

This time around, they’ve got Massachusetts Senator Scott “I drive a truck” Brown, Drew Brees (the New Orleans Saints valiant Quarterback), and a Nancy Pelosi cameo on the cowbell. Amazing!

Good Night and Good Luck,
Sunshine Superboy

in case you were in a cloud forest during the month of January, Scott Brown is this guy:

(from a 1982 Cosmo)

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Bobby vs. the Volcano

Posted in politics, sci-fi with tags , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2009 by Sunshine Superboy

I haven’t wanted to punch someone in the face this bad since watching Jar-Jar Binx’s horrendous condescension in Episode One of Star Wars. Good Gawd! Hot Damns! Will you listen to this oblivious dastard?

For real? Is this guy remotely serious? There are universal tears of laughter coming from media punditry of all political stripes and stars. Some Republicans are even opining the return of Sarah Palin to put us all out of our misery. My fave is from David Rees (you may remember David from such productions as Get Your War On)

Boosh! Checkit!

Don’t know about you, but I am FIRED UP about Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s speech last night. After “Communist-in-Chief” Barack Obama spoke to Americans like they were a bunch of babies (all the while scheming to steal their money and give it to the banks, which he would then nationalize, meaning he would get a huge year-end bonus), it was refreshing to see a politician who isn’t afraid to speak to Americans like they’re adults.

I’ll admit, I haven’t really been paying attention to the USA Leninism Stimulator Act, or whatever it’s called. (All I knew was that it cost about fifty quadrillion dollars, and if you started stacking $100 bills on top of each other the day Jesus was born, they’d eventually reach all the way around the equator and into outer space and we’d all be forced to walk to the moon on a stairway of dollar bills made from how wasteful the government is.)

But it took Bobby Jindal’s confident, manly speech and ferocious, slashing hand gestures to really bring home to me just how wasteful the Stimulator Package really is.

Did you know the USA government wants to spend your money on something called “Volcano Monitoring?” Are you kidding me?

Like Jindal said, “Americans can do anything,” and that includes monitoring our own d*mn volcanoes. Seriously, how hard can it be? It’s probably like ice fishing. Just get some binoculars and some graph paper and a thermometer and sit around looking at a stupid volcano and every once in a while, write down some data, like, “The volcano is still sitting there, lookin’ like an off-brand mountain with a hole in it. 10 + 50 – 20. Pie chart.”

Remember: Americans can do anything. They don’t expect the government to fix everything. True Americans aren’t afraid of the drama and risk of the free market — the transformative thrill of creative destruction — the hot explosion of the unexpected — the dynamism of having your outmoded assumptions (and your home) buried in the burning lava of innovation — the full-throated cries of agony as yesterday’s losers are turned to ash and new, more productive members of society are birthed!

Ladies and gentlemen, Americans can do anything! Let’s prove it to the world! LET’S ALL GET KILLED BY VOLCANOES!