Archive for Rahm Emmanuel

Confront Corruption! Oh, and feed me Braaaains!

Posted in humor, politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 11, 2009 by Sunshine Superboy

BlackPanther8bdoh! I should have been on this way earlier today. I mean, c’mon, here I am in Africa and we’ve got, visiting a country in Sub-Saharan Africa, an African-American, American President. Is that headline worthy or what????!

I know it can sometimes be hard to parse out my sarcasm/satire from my genuine politics– and mind you I am very glad to have this guy around and glad that he is visiting Africa (and planning to announce billions in aid is the rumor?)- but still. I mean you read something like this utter crap that these AP journalists consider “coverage” of our Black President in our black continent, and my lunch gets in danger of leaving my belly and getting coughed up into the sink. Exhibit A:

(AP) ACCRA, Ghana — America’s president and Africa’s son, Barack Obama dashed with pride onto the continent of his ancestors Saturday, challenging its people to shed corruption and conflict in favor of peace. Campaigning to all of Africa, he said “Yes you can.”

“I say this knowing full well the tragic past that has sometimes haunted this part of the world,” Obama told a riveted Ghanaian Parliament. “I have the blood of Africa within me.

In the faces of those who lined the streets and in many of Obama’s own words, this trip was personal. Beyond his message, the story was his presence _ the first black U.S. president coming to poor, proud, predominantly black sub-Sahara Africa for his first time in office.

insert spoon into mouth. gag as needed.


I mean, people are literally dancing in the street. And by “streets” I mean soccer fields. Which they may actually call “futbol” fields up there…

Man oh man. And the parliament in Accra was eating up every word of his speech. Kinda seems like they somehow never heard his embarrassing little secret.

Whats amazing is the sheer stamina of Obama. I mean, our first undead president has managed to attend to head of state duties in spite of his zombie infection, participating in whirlwind G8 Summits, Kremlin visits (he had to cancel his Gremlin visit to make that work), and rolling out the long leash on Rahm Emmanuel his Secretary of I’ll-Bash-Yr-Teeth-In-Motherfucker *(see “Rahm Bomb” in the video below). Its just makes you wonder how much more effective he could have been if he had some basic zombie survival skills on the campaign trail. 633597097556580165-braiiiiiinsThat senior citizen, come US senator, come undead presidential candidate John McCain may have been a goober as far as election competition goes, but he was expedient at catching and eventually converting Obama immediately following their last debate last Fall.

Sorry you guys, I just (finally) watched 28 weeks later, and I’m feeling a little punchy right now. On the bright side, I’ve spared you my impulse to write about Black President Obama stopping by the nation of Wakanda before leaving the continent. I read a Black Panther comic this morning and all I can think about in light of this trip to Ghana, is Obama glad-handing T’challa, King of Wakanda, along with Storm the X-men/mutant slash kinda recent Queen of Wakanda. Oooh, I can just picture Ororo Monroe and Michele Obama in some hi-tech royale palace…

Anyways, I’m gonna hitch the next ride outta geekville, which require me to wrap up this post and move along. Have I warned you about when I post on Saturday afternoons?!


My Rocket to the Moon, My Battlestar to the Inauguration

Posted in maps & mapping, politics, sci-fi with tags , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2009 by Sunshine Superboy

Baracket Man
With the inaugs just around the corner, its hard not to be gearing up for a national freakout on Tuesday. I myself have found it irresistable to venture a roadtrip to the federal district if only to witness the euphoric clusterfrak up close. That, and I wouldn’t mind checking out the netroots party (so long as I can find somebody to sponsor me) seeing as it may be my only chance to flirt with prescient number geek Nate Silver of fivethirtyeight. We’ll leave the humdrum world of politics (earthly ones at least… Laura Roslin still awaits), in just a moment, but I just had to share this nugget of ridiculocity. That is, Oklahoma Senator Colburn lost a college football bet, and is apparently going to therefore sing “Rocket Man” (in his underwear at the top of his lungs??!) to pay it off:

Republican Sen. Tom Coburn is slated to serenade Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson of Florida with his very own rendition of Elton John’s 1970s classic Wednesday afternoon. Coburn owes Nelson because the Florida Gators defeated the Oklahoma Sooners 24-14 in last week’s BCS title game. Nelson chose “Rocket Man” because he is a former astronaut who flew on the space shuttle Columbia in the 1980s. If Oklahoma had won, Nelson would have had to sing the title song from the musical “Oklahoma!” It also happens to be the official state song.

I think that story speaks for itself…. Why do people even report on this stuff?

Update. Thanks to the wonders of technology, you can torture yourself:

Okay, so I promised more maps, so courtesy of dreamy mathgeek Nate, if you give a frak about your new congress hereitis:


the little numbers represent the respective Congressional Districts in each state.

There are, obviously, a couple of different trade-offs at play here. On the one hand, you’d like the the shape of each “state” to bear some resemblence to its real-life counterpart. On the other hand, you want the states that share borders in real life to also share borders in the cartogram. And furthermore, it would be nice to have the Congressional Districts within each state in some sort of reasonably representative geography — which isn’t easy in a state like New York where three-quarters of the districts are in New York City and its immediate suburbs.

Accomplishing all of those things with one cartogram is, I’ve determined, probably impossible; the example I’ve provided cheats by creating a sort of warp zone between Minnesota/Iowa and North/South Dakota. Still, I think it gets the job done by and large.

I don’t have enough cartograms in my life, so consider it a job well done, bud.

Weaver’s Way
Seeing as I’ve managed to get more than a few of you enamored with the unflappable 10-year-old 5th grader come journalist, Damon Weaver, I feel obliged to keep you updated on the sitch, and share in my frabjous zeal.
For those of you waiting, with bated-breath and all, to find out if he’ll land that interview with Obama (not Michelle, the other one), he’s just moved one step closer. Apparently Rahm, or whomever behind the scene of the hallowed transition committee, has granted Damon an inaugural press credential. They say a kid can dream, Weaver, but you’ve got the whole frakking world rooting for you!

Galactica Countdown!
Holy Frak! While all the normies are counting down till the inaugs, I’m like losing my mind waiting for the (bittersweet) conclusion of BSG. Are you like totally done waiting for the rest of Season 4 or what?! (if you have no idea what I’m talking about, its time for you to skip ahead in the blog, cuz its gonna get a tad geeky in here). In fact, just to provide some context for Battlestar geekage, I love the show, but I’m not THIS crazy. Behold a BSG pimped out PC:

Can we say “Galactica ACTUAL”?!

Finally, on Friday we get to see what happens when the ship jumped away with President Laura Roslin onboard (with a cuckoobananas hybrid no less), and the whole saga with Hera, and maybe Starbuck is done losing her mind?, and for the love of Kobol would they just tell us who the final cylon is already?! Here’s an embedded treat to refresh some of your memory and get a peek at whats to come:

So Say We All!!!!

Esteban Sunshine Superboy