Archive for Sarah Palin

Buh-Bye II: S’long Caribou Barbie!

Posted in politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on July 5, 2009 by Sunshine Superboy

caribou_barbie-pack
Man, 2009 is like the year of the yearned-for validiction. First we got to send off that cocky dastard after eight chaotic/ idiotic years, and now we get to kiss cuckoo-bananas good-bye.

… or maybe its not quite that simple. But with lame-duck Governor Palin, it never really was. It seems that she’s passed the baton of batshit insane on to Rep. Michele Bachmann, and drifted off to the irratic/ unpredicataby- sorry- “maverick-y”, side of herself.

JUNEAU, Alaska – Outgoing Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin on Saturday laid the groundwork to take on a larger, national role after leaving state government, citing a “higher calling” with the aim of uniting the country along conservative lines.

“I am now looking ahead and how we can advance this country together with our values of less government intervention, greater energy independence, stronger national security, and much-needed fiscal restraint,” she said.

Palin also cast herself as a victim and blasted the media, calling the response to her announcement “predictable” and out of touch.

“How sad that Washington and the media will never understand; it’s about country,” the statement said. “And though it’s honorable for countless others to leave their positions for a higher calling and without finishing a term, of course we know by now, for some reason a different standard applies for the decisions I make.”

the punditry is beside itself.

Maureen Dowd: Caribou Barbie Is One Nutty Puppy

Sherrilyn Ifill, Professor of Law, U. Md.: Watching this news conference felt like watching a public figure unravel before our very eyes. And it wasn’t pretty. This lady was spooked, scared, angry, I thought, and incoherent.
caribou-barbie

Andrew Rotherham, Co-founder and publisher, Education Sector: I can see political trouble from my house.

Patrick J. Egan, Professor of Politics and Public Policy, NYU: Governing was never her strong suit.

David Boaz, Executive VP, Cato Institute: Will we one day say that her presidency was “born on the Fourth of July”? I doubt it.

William Jelani Cobb, Professor of History, Spelman College: This is obviously part of a vast left-wing conspiracy designed to assure Barack Obama a second term and, if Rush Limbaugh is to be believed, several more after that.

in case you missed the incoherent ramble echoing from Wasilla, AK:

and our friends at kos:

There’s an old saying, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

And so, being that she’s a fighter, it should have come as a surprise to nobody that Alaska Gov. Sarah “Barracuda” Palin decided to take a page from Eric Cartman’s playbook.

In her resignation speech, which many have described as rambling and/or bizarre, Palin announced her desire to “effect positive change outside government.”

Palin + outside government = change I can believe in.

I’m a little more skeptical. Like I said on Nov 5th last year, we haven’t seen the last of Palin. I mean, she’s 45 years young, unabashed, and the Republican Party’s best (only) charismatic asset (I’ll direct your attention once again to the image at the very top of this post). No, we ain’t seen all of Palin. And certainly not if Letterman and Levi have anything to do with it.

au revoire ma cuckoo amie,
Sunshine Superboy

Advertisements

The Gift That Keeps on Giving Bachmann

Posted in humor, maps & mapping, politics, science with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 8, 2009 by Sunshine Superboy

::sigh::
What would political comedians do without you and your crazy?!

Michele_Bachmann_doh
Oh, Michele…
::sigh::

No, not the badass one doing organic gardening at the White House and giving the Merry Ol’ Queen of England french kisses (one on each cheek, eh?). The crazy one. Michele with one “L”. While you were distracted by the shiny, not-so-bright object governor Sarah-Tina-Fey-Should-Pay-Me-Beaucoup-Royalties-Palin, this other totally bananas elected official has been cavalierly ferrying back and forth between scarily entertaining and just down right scary.

Her latest? A not-so-artful gesture to Democratic Presidential power coinciding with Swine Flu outbreaks. Cereally. Nevermind the fact that Republican Gerald Ford was in office during the outbreak that she cites, just check out the googly look in her eyes, and tell me you don’t get a Palin-RNC chill shimmying right down your spine:

The first two minutes is the best window of the cuckoo-bananas Minnesotan rep. OMMFG:

oh right. and then there was the time when she spoke at a gathering of conservatives on Capitol Hill, s-BACHMANN-STEELE-largewherein she called out to Michael Steele, the only African-American RNC chair in history, and ACTUALLY said to him…

As Steele concluded his remarks, Minnesota Rep. Michelle Bachmann — the event’s moderator — told Steele he was “da man.”

Michael Steele! You be da man! You be da man,” she said.

crazy and racist. and clueless. gotta love it.

If you’ve heard of Bachmann at all, you probably saw this from just before the elections. A witch-hunt in congress of all those darn (secret) anti-americans on capitol fucking hill?

One thing is amusing. Intermittently, Matthews tries to pin her down in her blanket screeds against liberals, and asks her to state specifically whether some Democrat is actually, literally anti-American. You can see her expression lock in place, her eyes stare blankly out, and you can imagine her tiny brain doing little shuddery spasms of confusion in the vast and roomy vault of her cranium…then , she glides right past the question and continues her imprecatory rant.

On the bright side, those of y’all Minnesotans who might be seeking asylum from the crazy are not too far from the Canadian border:
ely

and here I was hoping they broke the mold after Palin. For the sake of Johnny Stewart et al, I am so very glad I was wrong…. Still, I hope they boot you so far from your DC office in the 2010 elections yr ass has “chuck taylor” imprinted in your pantsuit. Tootles : )

The World, and all of its natural substances like CO2, is Yours,
Sunshine Superboy

Bobby vs. the Volcano

Posted in politics, sci-fi with tags , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2009 by Sunshine Superboy

I haven’t wanted to punch someone in the face this bad since watching Jar-Jar Binx’s horrendous condescension in Episode One of Star Wars. Good Gawd! Hot Damns! Will you listen to this oblivious dastard?

For real? Is this guy remotely serious? There are universal tears of laughter coming from media punditry of all political stripes and stars. Some Republicans are even opining the return of Sarah Palin to put us all out of our misery. My fave is from David Rees (you may remember David from such productions as Get Your War On)

Boosh! Checkit!

Don’t know about you, but I am FIRED UP about Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s speech last night. After “Communist-in-Chief” Barack Obama spoke to Americans like they were a bunch of babies (all the while scheming to steal their money and give it to the banks, which he would then nationalize, meaning he would get a huge year-end bonus), it was refreshing to see a politician who isn’t afraid to speak to Americans like they’re adults.

I’ll admit, I haven’t really been paying attention to the USA Leninism Stimulator Act, or whatever it’s called. (All I knew was that it cost about fifty quadrillion dollars, and if you started stacking $100 bills on top of each other the day Jesus was born, they’d eventually reach all the way around the equator and into outer space and we’d all be forced to walk to the moon on a stairway of dollar bills made from how wasteful the government is.)

But it took Bobby Jindal’s confident, manly speech and ferocious, slashing hand gestures to really bring home to me just how wasteful the Stimulator Package really is.

Did you know the USA government wants to spend your money on something called “Volcano Monitoring?” Are you kidding me?

Like Jindal said, “Americans can do anything,” and that includes monitoring our own d*mn volcanoes. Seriously, how hard can it be? It’s probably like ice fishing. Just get some binoculars and some graph paper and a thermometer and sit around looking at a stupid volcano and every once in a while, write down some data, like, “The volcano is still sitting there, lookin’ like an off-brand mountain with a hole in it. 10 + 50 – 20. Pie chart.”

Remember: Americans can do anything. They don’t expect the government to fix everything. True Americans aren’t afraid of the drama and risk of the free market — the transformative thrill of creative destruction — the hot explosion of the unexpected — the dynamism of having your outmoded assumptions (and your home) buried in the burning lava of innovation — the full-throated cries of agony as yesterday’s losers are turned to ash and new, more productive members of society are birthed!

Ladies and gentlemen, Americans can do anything! Let’s prove it to the world! LET’S ALL GET KILLED BY VOLCANOES!

Gaza, Stripped

Posted in maps & mapping, politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 15, 2009 by Sunshine Superboy

n503898024_1249480_583

This has been making its way around the internets, and seemed approps for a repost up here. Apologies for my technical insufficiencies that make it nearly impossible to read whats going on. So the green areas are/were Palestine and the white area was/is Israel. The maps march us through time from 1946, to 1947 (the UN partition), to 1949-67 (get yr war ons), to 2000 (redux!).

One of the crucial functions that maps play in my life, is having images like this ingrained in my mind whenever the heavily audio/ rhetorical media & political world tries to parse things this way or that, minimizing or obliterating historicity. For all of my epistemic issues with borders/ frontiers etc, mapping out terrain like this, with dates and places and clear histories of who was presiding over what land and when (as for instance the UK trying to wash its hands of this whole Middle-East situation), is essential to our understandings of what is going on in the world and how that has stemmed from what took place beforehand. They try to rewrite that shit every day (listen to Condoleezza Rice speak on any given region) but you hear all of it differently when you have a clear picture in your head that puts dates, and scales, and geography all in one scope.
2900032551_77b8936854

This is why it freaks me out that a majority of (North) Americans can’t find the United States on a map, and struggle to name even four countries that begin with the letter “U” (in english).

To even listen, let alone further engage in conversation about Palestine, it is so important for one to see images like the one above over and over and over. Maps need to be part of the conversation. At least thats our ethos at Black Maps. Elsewise we get people like Sarah Palin getting up in front of the entire country saying she can see Russia from her front porch in Alaska- and have people both believe her and vote for her…

I got this today from my friend Micha. Lets consider it some follow up on my earlier post about Blogging Gaza. Buh-here’s what Micha wrote:

Hi folks. My friend, Brian, started up a project called “Alive in Gaza“, following his work on “Alive in Baghdad”. He helps get reporting equipment into war zones and then helps publish reports from people on the ground. Check it out http://www.aliveingaza.org . He’s looking for various help with fundraising, translating, etc. I thought you might be interested in knowing about it.

I did check it out and it really is well done and exciting nah, its fantastic! Both in concept and delivery. It looks pretty spanking new, but so far it features audio dispatches from Gaza (with expressed intent of daily updates!), maps, and on-the-ground news updates of the situation over there.

gaza-map

And because size and scope are important (especially in this age of GoogleMaps and GoogleEarth), here is a non-google zoom in on the Gaza Strip. Again, so you can situate voices from blog dispatches to NPR who are speaking from and about Rafah, Erez, Gaza City, Beit Hanoun and all the rest of it. This one of, if not the most densely populated places in the world. Since Israeli forces pulled out of Gaza a couple years ago it has been penned in and made into what many folks are calling the largest prison in the world.

Scroll back up to that map at the top (the green and white one). With that map in mind, does this prison analogy seem a bit less metaphorical? Kinda makes you think people aren’t just embellishing when they talk about the Palestinian people getting fenced in

I’m gonna sign off here and leave you with a map I dug up of the West Bank and an excerpt from this awesome democratic media project, Alive in Gaza.

Godspeedyoucartographers!

Esteban Sunshine Superboy

westbankwall

Dispatch from Muhammed: “Non-stop Shelling”
January 13th, 2009

[Original Editor’s Note: “The following dispatch is a letter from Muhammed Al Ja’bawi in Gaza to our Regional Bureau Chief Omar Abdullah”]
Salam Alaikum Omar,
The situation is deteriorating each day inside the Gaza Strip. I cannot find the words to describe what is going on now in Gaza. The shelling is non-stop from the north and east of Gaza.
The Israeli troops are slowly approaching the northern side of Gaza, where the Hamas resistance is still on.
Today I contacted my cousin Ahmad, who lives close to northern Gaza in (….) Quarter. He said the Israeli troops suffered grave loss, whereas Hamas emplaced a great deal of improvised explosive devices targeting the Israeli forces as they were advancing.
As for me, I had to evacuate my house after we heard loud sound of shooting and missiles. We are now staying in an UNRWA-run school. Thank Goodness there is not any Hamas operatives or other resistance members among us in this school, but we do not know what tomorrow is holding for us. This is our first day in school. We have enough food and some supplies that will see us through for a number of days.
I will try to contact you again today, or tomorrow morning, God willing. I will most likely get hold of a new battery for my mobile phone. You can call me tomorrow morning at 9:00 or 10:00 a.m. Gaza local Time.
God bless brother Omar,
Muhammed Al Ja’bawi

[Ed: “The letter in its original arabic”]
السلام عليكم اخ عمر
ان الوضع يتأزم يوم بعد الاخر داخل القطاع,
لاتوجد كلمات توصف الحدث
القائم في غزة الان, القصف مستمر من الجهة
الشمالية و الجهة الشرقة من
القطاع, القوات الاسرائلية تتقدم ببطئ من
الناحية الشمالية لقطاع غزة و
المقاومة من قبل حماس مستمرة , اتصلت اليوم
بأبن عمي احمد و هو يسكن
بالقرب من المنطقة الشمالية للقطاع في حي () و
قد اعلمني ان القوات
الاسرائيلية قد تكبدت عدد من الخسائر في حين
ان حماس اقمت بنصب عدد من
العبوات الناسفة لاستهداف القوات
الاسرائلية عن تقدمها
اما بالنسبة لي فقد اضطررت الى اخلاء منزلي
بعد سماعنا اطلاق نار كثيف و
دوي عدد من القذائف, نحن الان نسكن في مدرسة
تابعة الى الانوروا , و
الحمد لله لا يوجد اي من اعضاء حماس و اي من
جهات المقاومة الاخرى معنا
في هذه المدرسة , و لكن لانعرف ماهو مصيرنا
غدا , اليوم هو يومنا الاول
في المدرسة , يوجد لدينا ما يكفي من الطعام و و
بعض المعدات لعدة ايام
ساحاول ان اعاود الاتصال بك مجددا اليوم او
غدا صباحا ان شاء الله , و
على الاغلب ساحصل على بطارية جديدة لهاتفي
النقال , يمكنك ان تتصل بي غدا
صباحا بي الساعة التاسعة و العاشرة صباحا
بتوقيت غزة
في امان اللله اخي عمر
محمد الجبعاوي
[For more independent citizen journalism, please support Alive in Gaza]